Oh good, you're still here. Enjoy this Hate List compilation album Cryptic status updates. Ok attention whore, you got me. "Sometimes ignorance really is bliss." WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAAAN??? "Anything good in life is either illegal, fattening, or bad." Mmmm no there are plenty of things that are just fine and good for you like...oh I duno fucking taking a walk once in a while. Doing | This | Does | Not | Make | You | Look | Skinny Terry Richardson. Skinny ties on fat dudes. People who are on social networking sites and then complain about privacy. Let's make this clear. Once you post shit on the internet, it is no longer private. PERIOD. "Mixologist." I don't care if you can whip up a kick ass martini, you're still a bartender. Mixologist should be reserved for someone who can concoct a pure batch of meth. Economists. They make meteorologists seem legit. "Pop of color." How boring are you if you have to remind yourself to not be boring? Women trying to pose all sexy with stuffed animals. Bye bye boner. Dubstep. Sounds like brown note. These atrocious strappy sandals. You know who should be wearing these? Disney Princesses and Eastern European hookers. People who insist on putting you on speakerphone every time you call. When men say "we're pregnant." No, you're not. The people who blame everything on "the media" are the same bunch watching TLC and reading In Touch magazine. If you want your daughter to not be a bitch, don't name her Courtney. How do you market edgy young music acts nowadays? Do a shitty cover of Nirvana's Teen Spirit!. Here's another onejust in case the last one didn't make you want to pour bleach in your ears. People who give made up coupons as presents. Maybe all Dad really wants is a free pass to hit on the waitress at Benihana. Pregnant women posing nude.It's ten times worse when the dad is there nude too. I don't know who this is intended for, but I'm positive absolutely no one wants to fucking see that. Job ads looking for a "rock star." Cause this is what you'll actually be getting. If you're the rock star in any office, guarantee you're also the person everyone fucking hates. In fact, let's stop calling anyone a rock star altogether. When people misspell (on purpose?) "meet" with "meat." And by people I mean men. When people feel the need to say "happily" before the word "married." Cause you know it's the exact opposite of that. "Jelly" instead of "jealous." Man buns Let's make this clear: Star Wars is no longer the barometer for being a geek. Star Trek on the other hand, still is, cause it's fucking shitty. The people who want government to not regulate what they eat, are the same people who support government regulating who should be able to marry. No irony there. The overstated use of the word "epic." "Thinspiration." Conversely, motivational macros to justify being fat. Marilyn Monroe was never even close to being full-figured or curvy or whatever you wanna coin overweight these days. "Alpha Male." If you have to use this term in any capacity, you are not one. Look, women just want a funny sensitive guy who looks like this. Nevermind I think he is gay. "Thrifted." I don't know why this pisses me off. Actually no I do. It's her way of bragging about some $4 old ass sweater that was at Goodwill...for a reason. "Mani-pedi." Yes, this is how I imagine all women saying it.